Posts Tagged ‘project’

Music

Tuesday, April 13th, 2010

Beardieboy has an ego as fragile as a spring  jonquil. he used to vie for gigs with the opening line ‘Put us on the bill with anyone, we’ll blow them out of the water’. He believed it and generally that’s exactly what they did. A lot of spit, blood and water (and the odd shopping trolley) have passed under the bridge since then and neither of us have performed in any project for six years. Well, that’s not strictly true. We’ve both sung at funerals but let’s not go there.

bearded man plays guitar swearing under his breath at photographer

Beardieboy. Yes, he really does have a beard.

About 11 months ago we decided to have a go at a project together. We settled on the name Less for Murder and started writing songs. We started really well. *started*really well.  Life does its thing and we’ve sputtered along.  The biggest issues has been perfectionism. Beardieboy desperately wants it to be perfect, and who can blame him. Perfection has a high price, to achieve it you usually have to set aside many other things. Having been a single parent for many years though I do recognise that best is perfect when perfect itself is unobtainable. I’ve cajoled, tickled, begged, shouted, begged some more and finally he’s submitted and we’re going to do a short slot at the end of May, it’s not a full gig, it’s not an open mic, it’s somewhere in between.

He’s still very nervous and I don’t want to make a big deal but I’ve very fucking excited indeed. I haven’t sung a song of my own in front of a crowd of people since I was 5 months pregnant with this.

a small child with a unique sense of style

She chose all her own clothes. Honest.

We haven’t had any photos taken, still have a list of songs as long as your arm to work on and I still can’t tie him down to recording anything, but that’ll come in time. He’s more amazing than he knows. Me, I know how bloody fabulous I am 🙂

Music Therapy

Sunday, March 14th, 2010

Treating the whole, not the part. My doctor, treating me for a leg injury, asked me how I was and what I was up to. I told him and he said, ‘don’t forget to do things for fun too’.  Seems to me that’s the best prescription I could have. I’m just not sure where to get it filled in. I know that my fun is, or should be music.

I need music, I need to sing, I need to write. Beardieboy and I began collaborating about 12 months ago, writing songs and rehearsing. Trouble is he’s a combination of a perfectionist and a sensitive soul so the slightest gap in rehearsing leaves him thinking his voice has gone, the songs are shit, the path is blocked. Because he’s a sensitive soul he is often the cause of his own blocks. Too much worry, too much work, getting a cold, all conspire against him and therefore us.

I feel a bit stuck. I have had several projects before, including one which produced the songs found here but, and I’m not just saying this because he’s my Beardieboy, but this is the first project that I truly believe in. I don’t care if we ever get famous but I do care if we get heard. We must get heard. It’s a bit different for Beardieboy I know, he was totally committed to the Damn Dirty Apes when we met. I wonder if, for him, this is some kind of consolation. I wonder if he believes in it the way I do.

So, what to do? If I stick with this project I stand two chances: I’ll either be stuck in a cycle of progress and delay, never quite reaching the standard in the eyes of Beardieboy that will allow him to let others hear, or, he could get his act together and then so could we. If it’s the former then I’m stuffed. I need to sing. I need to write, I need to perform. I can’t hedge my bets with a second project, I don’t have time for two projects. I can only manage one between work, study and family. I so believe in our music that I don’t want to give up on it. More than this I struggle with the idea of losing something that has had a very positive effect in this relationship. If I chose to cut my loses and give up waiting will I effectively be weakening my relationship? If he continues to feel sensitive and stuck is he allowing those feelings to stop the music and in doing so weaken the relationship?I wish I had the answer. I need to think.

Suddenly it all becomes clear. I know what to do. Following this brief period of introspection I realise what the answer is, I know the thing that will make all the difference.

I’m going to kick his arse.