Posts Tagged ‘floppy’

Beardieboy

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

Beardieboy, quite remarkably, has given me my second posting topic, the first being utterly pointless (the second may well follow suit).

I’ve been feeling crap today, which is obvious really, after all I’ve been perfectly well all week in my tedious job so why on earth would I be given the pleasure of enjoying the weekend that I’d looked forward to. Our friend has organised a memorial gig for her late boyfriend, our mate Neil, who was a remarkable but troubled musician. We’ve looked forward to the gig for a number of weeks so it’s only right that I should be ill and miss it, after all, that is the way of the world.

Beardieboy took off looking like he was going to a gig and happily he managed to suppress his excitement tourettes.  This tourettes involves saying and doing things best left in his head, out loud, at the most inappropriate times. When I first met him, he lifted my top up in front of his dad. You get the drift…anyway, he managed to say nothing inappropriate like, ‘I hope you have a good evening’, or ‘Have you finished that job application yet?’  Before he went he did say the obligatory, ‘I won’t be back late…’

Well, it’s gone midnight and I’ve just had THAT phonecall. The one where he pretends he’s sober and the more he tries not to,  the more inapproriate he becomes.

Beardieboy: How are you?

Me: I’m ok, I’ve still got a headache

Beardieboy: I’ll come home soon and get you drinks and junk food

Me: Is that what I am? A lazy junk food eater? (look, I am ok! But that’s not the point)

Beardieboy: Noooo, don’t say that, ooh I knew I’d say the wrong thing, does this mean my treats will be floppy now?

Me: Floppy? Pardon? Floppy?

Beardieboy: Sex, you know? Floppy!

Me: Is your brother standing next to you?

Beardieboy: You’re not going to write this on Twitter are you?

Me: Nooooo, of course not….