Cheerful Denial

Why is it that when your dentist is imparting heartbreakingly bad news they manage to cushion it with wonderful yet inaccessible possibilities.

‘Ah the problem is…’ (the problem is I have teeth of shit, they have never been good. They will never be good. As Alanis would say, they are ‘ungood’, or as I would say – once more – they are shit) ‘…you appear to have a cracked root, I’m afraid this tooth will have to be extracted’

This FRONT tooth will have to be extracted. My ARSE! Calm expression.

‘What are my options?’

‘The good news is that there are three options, the first is that we use an implant, it will be like a crown, no one will ever see the difference’.

‘Right, and how about an option that I have possibility of paying for?’

‘Bridge or denture, denture if you are strapped. What would you like to do?’

‘I’d like you to stick it back together again.’



‘Good choice’


Don’t tell my secret admirers.

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