Archive for July, 2010

What a Cheek!

Monday, July 19th, 2010

(pungent smell fills the air, everyone looks at each other and then at the dog)

Beardieboy: Gelert!

5yo: That wasn’t Gelert, it was you!!

Beardieboy: It was not me, I didn’t feel it.

5yo: Well I feel mine, they make my bottom cheeks move.

When Things Go Right…

Monday, July 19th, 2010

As some of you may know I have a beautiful au pair, the latest in a list of beautiful au pairs. Some are more beauitiful than others, this one, the last one, the one before and the next one are the most beautiful, without doubt they have definitely got prettier in recent years. I’ve had au pairs on and off for about 12 years. More off than on with working from home, and convalescing but in that time I have had more than 10 au pairs, the 5 year old has only had 3 au pairs so far. The first one was a raging disaster in some ways and great in others. She was great with the kiddo, couldn’t abide my 15yo and at one point looked at me and said about beardieboy ‘you know what kind of man your husband is…’ She was rude and moody and found a guy while over here (from Paris) and once she’d found him her role as an au pair was the very last thing she needed. After several unsavoury experiences we finally agreed to part and she returned home about 6 months early and immediately emailed me with a heartfelt apology for her rude and difficult behaviour. Yeah, um whatever, but thank you.

The second was wonderful, funny, hectic and great with kids. She was vibrant amazing and full of fun. She was only here for the summer but we loved her so much and we’ve just convinced a family in America she’d be a great first au pair for their year long contract.

The current au pair is leaving on Saturday, she’s been here 11 months and has been fantastic. She arrived homesick and miserable and looked in a state of shock for the first week but she’s grown in confidence and shines like a ray of sunshine and I love her very much as do we all. She is really like part of the family and generous to a fault. Her Christmas presents and birthday gifts outstrip anything we could ever respond with but we make sure she has all her free time, we never take her for granted and include her in everything we do. We don’t want her to go.

Her sister is here for this last week and tonight they gathered us on the sofas and told us that their parents have invited us to Germany for a weekend trip. We’d already planned to go for a long weekend next year but we’re broke and we need to save for it. We listened to their invitation and I could feel Beardie take an internal deep breathe. We’d never wish to insult anyone but we just couldnt’ afford it. As it turns out we needn’t have worried. The family have insisted on paying for our plane tickets and insisted that we must not bring gifts when we go. The 5yo ran round yelping with excitement. She’s never been on a plane.

As a parting gift I have been collecting a charm bracelet for the beautiful au pair: a chilli to remind her of the night she made such a hot chilli con carne that no one could eat it but we did drink a hell of a lot of water; a cupcake to signify all the happy hours of baking with the 5yo; a shopping bag to remind her that she single-handedly kept Birmingham’s fashion stores afloat through the credit crunch; a guitar to signify all the hours she’s had to put up with us rehearsing in the house; a pair of ballet shoes to remind her of all her dancing…and the list goes on. In comparison to the generosity of her family our gift is very small but I hope it shows her how much we care and value her fabulous contribution to our family this year. She may also make a mental note that there is no ‘iron’ charm and may well realise it’s because she’s bloody rubbish at it – you can’t have it all. I’m genuinely upset that she’s leaving and can’t give her too many hugs because I’ll just cry.

The next beautiful au pair just wrote to us asking if she must take out her lip piercing, she’s taken out four others already. We’ve told her to put them all back and that if she can’t be herself she won’t have a good time. Beardieboy thinks we’re due a crappy au pair, I hope it’s not this one.